Appsberger's Disease

Appsberger's Disease: The propensity to define oneself, as well as the value of life, based on the functionality and number of 'apps' that one has loaded on to their mobile devices. Symptoms include, but may not be limited to:

1) Not being able to pick up on cues and lacking social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.

2) Being unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech.

3) Avoiding eye contact or having unusual facial expressions or postures.

4) Being preoccupied with only one or few interests, which the person may be very knowledgeable about.

5) Talking a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common.

Appsberger's Disease may also be characterized by an illusory sense of well being brought about by the use of these programs, not unlike the dynamics of addiction.

But unlike conventional addiction, if you are a victim, or know of someone with Appsberger's Disease you are pretty much out of luck, as this affliction has yet to be accepted, or documented as a legitimate pathology in high profile journals. This may be due to the increasing use of 'apps' by today's medical professionals.

However, you can write to:
The American Anti-Apps Association of Luddites Unlimited at:
P.O. Box 9409 / Berkeley Ca

(But don't expect a response, as we have yet to develop an 'app' capable of acknowledging a conventional letter)

~Marc Twang


See Marc Twang’s Essays Archive by clicking here.